Have you ever been lost? Not sure where to go next? I’m there, and it is honestly the most frightening feeling. It’s the moments when I almost feel close to having an answer, just to be cast down into that lovely pit of fear abd wondering. I’ve heard that at rock bottom is where Jesus is found. So far, I’m getting a ton of silence.
Maybe it’s because I’m not praying hard enough, Maybe it’s because I’m not coming up with the right words. Not asking the right way. Or the fact that I’m simply tired and am running on very little faith.
And there is where the problem lies: in the negative thoughts that keep me from listening to what He has never stopped telling me. That He loves me unconditionally and there isn’t a moment where He isn’t working out everything, to bring me, and everyone who follows Him into peace.
For His glory.
I have been questioning this a lot lately. Am I doing what You need me to do? Am I doing it with a smile on my face and love in my heart for You? Truth of the matter is I don’t know what exactly my calling is but when there is music and writing involved there is You. Not that I know how to write music, but lyrics, I’m working on breaking into.
What about the money? You won’t survive if that’s path you’re following. And that’s all I’ve been told about my writing. It isn’t going to make me a decent living. In all honesty I’ve told people, I’d rather be broke than have a decent living. Isn’t that what Jesus did? He was basically homeless, asking for people to let Him into their life. There was no fancy car, house, TV. There was just Jesus and His disciples breaking bread. Simplicity.
Life isn’t like that though. Too many things are screaming for our attention. Facebook. Pinterest. TV. Music. The list goes on.. How His voice easily gets discarded. We shouldn’t have to be in a hurry to figure everything out, especially on our own. Even in this confusing time I’ve been told: only you can figure this out. Inside though, I’m pleading with Jesus not to leave me alone. I know He won’t.
He won’t leave you alone either. We just have to be still and know that He is God.
Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!” (Psalm 46:10)