When Heartbreak Finds Me

Tuesday, I read this devotion called, Broken Things. (That was the title, but you can find it here on YouDevotion.

I find it amazing how in some ways, God is not so mysterious. I mean, I may not be able to see His actual face, or call Him up when everything is going wrong and say, Hey, could You come sit with me awhile, please? And if I’m being totally honest, I have a hard time sitting with Him now. He’s not even physically in front of me.

I think if He were, I’d sob. Just fall into His eternal arms and weep.

Weep because everything around me is dead. Mornings are filled with abrupt spurts of anger and lying lips. Nights are lost on prideful silence.

Weep because I’ve become lethargic and tired.

Weep because I keep tripping and focusing on my circumstance, instead of His gaze that longs to keep me. And whisper, I need You. into His ever listening ears.

Weeping because my trust in Him is difficult over the voices. The one of complaint. Anger. Frustration. Worry. Sadness.

Weeping because I am finally starting to understand how He felt. All He ever did was try and love people. Some people accepted. Most thought He was crazy, going against the rules and loving those from the tax collector to the lame man.

Weeping because when everyone, even the disciples left Him, He went to our Father, and said,Forgive them.

Just like that. I think sometimes that is why I’m in my current situation right now.

Not because I need forgiveness from the people around me. I need it from God.

I need my heart to break so my reliance on Him is stronger. So into the eyes of those who focus on the wrong, I can find God’s truth, and point them to a miraculous light that will never fade out.

Today, I will take my heart and pray these words, found in this poem by Thomas Toke Bunch.

May I become acceptant of Your love for me.

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