Cloud Girl

Watching the clouds
change against blue backdrop,
I see a girl, head hung low,
feet draped over the edge.

She is drenched in misery-
every failure shriveling up
pale face. She wants
to jump, free fall into arms
homey, welcoming, stable.

Beneath her soles
lies an abyss of every sin
she’s ever committed
every tone red or blue
she or someone has spoken
to make her cry
guilted fear.

She sees a distant figure-
shoulders broad, arms
cast lovingly, open
for embrace. A smile
breaks over this stranger
as he rides
her favorite animal:
a horse.

Why so sad, My child?
He says, slowing the horse to a halt.
I’m not good enough for anyone.
I’ve failed, she chokes out, trying
desperately to reign in the tears.
Look at Me. He says gently,
sitting down beside her.

I can’t. She cries.
Why not? He asks.
You’re going to condemn me.
For? He watches as another tear falls.
Not wanting to grow up.
How I strive to do right.
Be the right person.
I don’t have dreams anymore,
I must do what I am told.

He reaches for her hand.
I never said I wanted you to grow up.
I know everyone tells you to, but why do you think you’re here right now?
You’re at the brink of giving up.
Everyone’s left you.
You’re empty
.

Why are you here, then? She sniffles.
Why would I leave what I have made?
Jesus? No one can see you. You’re holy.
The pure of heart do.
I’m not. If I was pure I’d do everything right the first time around.
I would be in school, getting a degree, not sitting here questioning my life.

You’re pure because you desire Me, not the world.
Yes, but aren’t I failing You? I’m sitting here singing, writing and not looking for a proper school. I’m falling behind. I’m tired. And I don’t want to move off this cloud. I just want to stay here with You.

He squeezes her right hand. I will strengthen you with My love. Rest. Don’t fret. I knew this since day one.
Trust Me. Joy shall find you again.

I don’t know–
Shh.

A breeze tousles my hair.

I’m the little girl
in the sky.

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2 thoughts on “Cloud Girl

    • You think there’s a magazine for this? Especially now it’s on my blog? I’ve sent out quite a few to other mags besides the one I contribute to, just waiting for a response. Also, I have no idea what poems would be best to send.

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