“I can’t do this.” My voice quivered. Tears fell. Again.
“What, My darling?” He gently asked.
“Wait.” I said. “I’m tired. All these voices in my head. What if they’re all true? What if I haven’t done anything in my 24 years of living? What if I can’t ask for help because I’m told I have to do it on my own? Self-sufficiency. When someone offers, I hesitate because it doesn’t feel real. I shouldn’t need. I shouldn’t depend on others, even if I’m crippled. I should do it in my power. In my own power. On my own.
“How can I love you then? How can I protect you after you fall? How can I wrap you in my arms, kiss you on forehead, and tell you it’s alright? How can I hold your right hand and remind you. I AM your portion & strength? You’re not alone, I AM here. Why do you think you keep coming back here?”
“I need love. Reassurance. Reminded I am worth someone’s time. Attention. Company. Peace. Hope. A smile absent reproach.
“Oh, darling, I have welcomed you since I thought your name. Your face. Blue eyes. Delicate smile. You may be broken, but you are beautiful by My side. I AM making you whole again. Trust the touch of My hand. It is gentle, patient, kind. As is My love for you. I promise I’ll get you through.
“I love You. Thank You for loving me. Never leaving or forsaking me. May I ask You something?” I met His gaze.
“You’re welcome. Anything.” He smile made me ache. Such tenderness I’ve missed.
“Can I be overwhelmed in Your love?”
“You already are, My child. Such joy is coming, you will cease memory of these tears you cry sorrowfully. They shall be tears of joy. You’ll see.” He wrapped me in His arms. Strong. Sturdy. Holding my fragility.
I smiled that delicate smile, saying what He already knew:
My life is better with You.