Speak Again, Love

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Sweet is the sound.

Your voice, slow greeting

My eardrum in this garden,

heeding downtrodden woes.

My heart & flesh are failing,

falling below a standard I’ve set:

I can be lonely. I can be fine.

By myself. On my own.

I don’t need to be alone with You.

I’m lying.

I do.

Oh, my Friend,

I am aching.

Resorting to quiet speech.

I do not know to do.

Nor are the choices mine

in making me gaze more

into Your beloved face,

I am only satisfied in You.

If this loneliness is to keep me

back from seeking humanly comfort,

or advice leaving me in a fetal

vice I never turn my back on,

I’ll sit here writing scrawls

with my broken voice connecting

our sorrows as one silence

better shared with He, who wept

before my name bore bloom

an April morn pain declined.

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Pruning

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Where the fence is low,

You come into view.

I am unfeeling,

kicking up dirt words

I've said, up we go, now

grow grow grow.

when times become

too much to handle.

Green stems easily remind

one is human.

Envy one’s possession.

Rank.

Let the root sour,

abdicating the headdress

crowning you unique.

A banner furling under

Siberia cold.

Pricked by cactus

in the valley

where nectar runs

empty till river crosses bend.

Soften this heavy rope

I can’t unknot binding my wrists

behind my back, as a secret

no one dares share.

Expectation leads to self-hatred

I was never meant to believe.

Why not trust the promises

You’ll continually take my right hand,

straightening these crooked paths

to the Jericho promised long ago.

I AM betrothed to you, Beloved,

whose cracks come clean

the more you lend your metamorphosis to the cocoon

I’ve chosen for you to hide away

your bloom for those needing

linger with love.

Nightmare Clipped My Wings, Daddy

There’s heavy rope

tied round my heart.

A dream drew closed

my winged lids, fluttering,

fighting to openly coast

on Hope’s breath.

How He’s watched my wings

fall back down

dark holes,

lying wide a trapped belief

I’m stuck inside.

Death is the end of the line.

Don’t move.

Don’t try.

Resign.

Everyone will die.

You will, too.

You’ll never see them, again.

Don’t cry. It’s life.

Now, He’s woken me

this dreary morning, waiting.

I looked in the picture.

They were smiling.

A voice came over one

news broadcast.

They found him

laying on his back

smiling.

Breath gone.

Lighted gaze turned

down.

I don’t hear where.

Acid.

What?

Rain?

Tears?

Why?

I cry.

No. No. No.

My control

I never had

gone.

He draws close,

closing truth over

my tremor.

I AM the Savior.

You are the children

I delight saving.

My hand is upon you.

I have lifted you out

fear, anxiety, sorrow

pits.

I set your feet

high on rock solid Truths.

You are under my wing.

No matter depth, height,

nor this in-between,

know this was only a dream.

There is a house with rooms

where one day, you will laugh

until you cry only joy.

You won’t have fear

your loved ones will be taken away.

You will all share in my feast.

Light will stay by your side,

Infinitely.

Hard Stare Truth

Breakthrough God.

Mocking tongues seek slandering

Your precious child, silently holding

the promise she is worth more than

two sparrows and gold.

Look on her as the woman touching

the hem of Your robe.

Trembling to a fall before You.

Behold, I am unclean.

I have spent years staring for approval in human eyes.

Waiting, hungering, crying.

Hoping a mouth would open

wide praise: I am enough.

I am worthy 24/7 affection.

Never forgotten.

My love means something

though small as seed.

Oh, Jesus, I’m desperately

seeking a friend’s hand never slip

out from my own.

They are sojourners as am I,

wandering through pastures green,

wayward without our Shepherd.

All this time when I’ve cried:

Someone please approve my efforts.

Someone please take interest in me.

Someone please tell me I’m no

mistake.

Someone please promise me forever,

without wishing to break me.

Someone please don’t leave.

Someone please stay.

Someone.

You’ve stood beside me.

I’ve sought you.

Stop searching.

Believe me.

I know you.

I love you.

You are healed,

My darling.

You are mine.

Where Your Guidance Veils

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Marvelous moonlight-

how deep the Father’s love for us.

You bade me look straight to your light.

White, brilliantly beckoning my soul speak:

’tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,

who took my sin upon His perfect bone,

so I may live again.

No better love exists.

This Man who saw me

unformed inside my mother’s womb

took time in tenderness drawing

my crocked feet.

Leading my body in a sprint,

circling, circling, circling,

around counter clockwise.

I’ve never been good

managing time anyway.

My trembling legs

taken aback by words:

I’m sorry, I did that.

Repeated over again

til I feel freed from minuscule wrong.

I never am.

They never let me forget.

My right hand, weak in strength

gripping for dear life to anything

resembling stability, another hand perhaps.

My left, holding straight this lopsided body

wanting to walk as everyone else.

He sees this girl desperately trying,

remarking: Come thou font of every blessing, My child.

My glory shine through your disabling vessel.

Fear not, I do not see as you:

by outer appearance.

Rather, your precious heart I crafted

from My purity.

I sail night by night,

a starless sky above my blackened thought:

I am restless without my Lighthouse

guiding wayward effort safe to shore,

forever welcomed in.

Your Blue Eyed Beloved

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I’m holding on to this promise:

You have engraved my name

upon Your palm,

never forgetting the way

I delight when You show Yourself.

Jesus.

Better a beautiful day with You,

than one thousand among the wicked.

Your presence glows in sun rays.

Lilts from every birdsong.

Tree branches lifted high,

glorifying You only.

Fighter for my affection.

My eyes on You.

My tongue confessing truth beheld:

I am a God girl.

You lead my steps closer

toward Your will: Your Beloved,

Unafraid to do life big

no matter how small

my contribution may seem

from everyone who doubts

with You, dreams come true.

You’re not just a friend,

You’re my father.

You’re my Beloved,

finding my face so amazing,

daring stare an eternity’s time.

Woo Me While I Wait

Before I cry,
my eyes water
looking as a piece of glass
You know will spill over
wells of apology I don’t need repeat

But for I who fear Your name,
the moments I feel faint,
I must confess my needing
gentlest hand lead me home.

Your laughter a waterfall
my ears have strained hearing.
Oh My child. My sweet.
You are safe, I am Your fortress.
Nothing will harm you.

Lord, love be Your mantra
in this scared place
our hands twine
together Word
from which I have
been formed.

You see me.
Gazing in jealousy restrained,
as I sing out to nightingale, cricket, tree alike: He is risen above all!
My Beloved, My Bridegroom,
the water I thirst, the fire I wait to crackle my speech.

He is deliverance,
My lighthouse shining light over
seas wide enough to engulf my vessel, shaken by fear I shall drown.

Your love is strong, preserving my life, Your jewel, precious pearl
You delight in eternally.

Our love is more than feelings
I attributed to this day, days behind.
It is I AM unchanging,
unlike a silver ring I kept
from a boy I believed forever mine.

Take these tears, Yours, before I knew rain.
I’ll take these weepy, autumn leaves

fall

fall
fall

fall
fall

fall

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

humble promising

You are good.
Everlasting.
Truly faithful.