I look in the mirror.
I don’t know what You see.
I say this to my reflection,
staring blankly back at me.
I gaze a few minutes longer
at this scared, helpless 24 year old,
before I hear You speak: I see you.
I want to say there is nothing to see.
I’m already doubting myself.
What if this wasn’t what You wanted?
Why if all I did this for is the fame,
desperately wanting the world to see me.
But I don’t.
I stay silent.
Watching the girl behind the glass.
Waiting for another shatter.
A break in her unsure heart.
I can’t believe I did that. I tell her.
Put myself out there, naked in front
of the whole world.
She’s not listening.
Only mimicking the words.
As if making fun of me
will dissolve this waiting.
Silent prayer, You will use
my agonies, mistakes, sorrow
all for Your honor, glory.
Why should be ashamed
for sharing how I have come
to know You, my Savior.
One Person knowing me
No matter what I’ve done.
If I forget a copyright page.
If spacing isn’t perfect.
If multiple font sized exist.
No table of contents.
I’m covering this empty whitespace
with child pleas: Daddy, daddy,
I want You. I want You proud of me.
This little lights blazes only for You.
I long to eat & drink of Thee without
fear I’ve wronged.
Make Your face shine in these confessions.
Kindness inviting another timid soul
dare look upon the Face who crossed death,
nailed on blessed back,
rising again to prove