Let This Sink

I look in the mirror.

I don’t know what You see.

I say this to my reflection,

staring blankly back at me.

Tired.

Weary.

Faded.

I gaze a few minutes longer

at this scared, helpless 24 year old,

before I hear You speak: I see you.

I want to say there is nothing to see.

I’m already doubting myself.

Again.

What if this wasn’t what You wanted?

Why if all I did this for is the fame,

desperately wanting the world to see me.

But I don’t.

I stay silent.

Watching the girl behind the glass.

Numb.

Stuck.

Waiting for another shatter.

A break in her unsure heart.

I can’t believe I did that. I tell her.

Put myself out there, naked in front

of the whole world.

She’s not listening.

Only mimicking the words.

As if making fun of me

will dissolve this waiting.

Silent prayer, You will use

my agonies, mistakes, sorrow

all for Your honor, glory.

Why should be ashamed

for sharing how I have come

to know You, my Savior.

My Friend?

One Person knowing me

His Beloved.

No matter what I’ve done.

If I forget a copyright page.

If spacing isn’t perfect.

If multiple font sized exist.

No table of contents.

I’m covering this empty whitespace

with child pleas: Daddy, daddy,

I want You. I want You proud of me.

This little lights blazes only for You.

I long to eat & drink of Thee without

fear I’ve wronged.

Make Your face shine in these confessions.

Kindness inviting another timid soul

dare look upon the Face who crossed death,

guilt
sin
burden

nailed on blessed back,

rising again to prove

Love frees.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Let This Sink

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s