Deep breath, Julia.
Yeah, that’s a good idea: put on Hilary Duff to drown out the doubt. (Hello, 7th grade me. Long time no see..don’t go dying your hair blonde again..) Okay, stop trying to crack jokes. Get to it. Alright..
This isn’t going be a poem about waterfalls. I could go on and on about how years ago, my family took a trip to Canada to see Niagara Falls. The Segway I wanted to take (okay, I’d ask, but I was too nervous anyway) for a spin. Getting carried up a flight of stairs by a group of Russian men in my wheelchair. It was like I was queen. Being stung by a bee after said Russian men leave. The 4D theatre we went to, where they showed a movie about logs (and everyone’s seats move like a rollercoaster. And having water splashed on us for effect.
Yeah, that would be another novel of a poem…
Can I sing this one lyric real quick?
Forget about the reasons why you can’t in life, and start to try, cause it’s your time to fly.
Get to it.
Why not, spread my wings & fly?
WOULD YOU TELL THEM ALREADY?!
Okay…I PUBLISHED A BOOK OF POETRY!! And it is NOT so yesterday! (sorry, I’m restraining myself from having a dance party only God is witnessing right now. Dancing in my seat. Let’s hope I don’t get up and grab a hairbrush cause SOMEONE IS WATCHING OVER MEEE!) Thanks for the reminder, Hil. 😉
What does this have to do with grace, you ask? Saturday, I received the proof copy in the mail. After flipping it open, smelling the pages, exclaiming, this is so awesome!!! on the porch swing, and laughing nervously, my heart sunk.
God, who is going to buy that? It is like a huge storybook. I try to reason with myself: At least no one will lose it. I thought it would be smaller. This with only 16 pages. Then, I find out I spelled two words wrong. I sob because I want perfection, no mistakes.
Shortly after this insane meltdown, I get a text from Trisha, who dries them with a few words: Bought the books! With all the editing I did/wanted to do until it was perfect, she still bought them. For the girls in her youth group..IT’S SO CRAZY GOD IS USINNG ME LIKE THIS. I never dreamed my love of poetry would lead to this. At all. Friends buying it even with knowing the mistakes I made. (no copyright page, font size different for last poem, misspelled words), a humbling, review from Red Gladiola …it is all so overwhelming…
I have no idea what God is going to do with this. I know it’s bigger than me. I know He’s already given me so much grace.
I know I’ve never been happier for following His leading into this. Thank you, God for all the encouragement you’ve surrounded and will continue to surround me with. I pray You overwhelm whomever you lead to buy this book. With Your love.
Your will be done.