Where’s Joy?

The way I am wishing

to become a winter song.

When words fall out my

lovingkindness drawn mouth,

they will be quiet welcome.

Snow collects on dirtied soil

without asking: May I rest here

awhile? We must be okay with the

chill, because we carry left over cold

as a souvenir for our hearts. We

point out past wrongs, you left

school, you won’t go back.

You’ll never hold this down,

pay this back. You’ll never be like

me. You’re a jerk. Idiot. Asshole.

Sucker. Now replace that with an F.

This is what I hear. I can’t lie, saying

complaint doesn’t rear it’s ugly

blackhead, pimple I am sure will

need popped by week’s end. I can

never see them, but they are as

painful as these words slain on a

cross. More bloody than the slightest

whimper I make about hurt I can’t

control. Joy is hard to swallow,

especially when I’m handed this gift

daily. I fight to believe the way other

people talk, never has to be

normalcy. People I don’t know well.

dare to call me sweet, beautiful,

friend, as I swim up a current, so

don’t fall into conformity. If I am

honest, I have overthought more on

God’s love for me, believing every

day, His love is the same as my

family. The quick snake tongues

never pride empty. Strike. Strike.

Strike. It’s not a turkey, I’ve only

bowled once perfectly.

It’s me, trying not swing back at their

falsehoods to produce a grand slam

belief: this is the way life has to be.

6 thoughts on “Where’s Joy?

  1. Awh sweet one why do you say this? You say people that don’t know you well dare to call you sweet but why? You are beautiful. I love your writing and your willingness to be so open. I love that way you express your heart! You are so amazing you must know this! I see it. It’s very plain to me. I hope you are ok and trusting God I pray for you that peace will guard your heart and mind! I love the way you express yourself so freely! I hope you had a blessed day!
    May I ask are you ok? If you are not here is my email and I would like to be there for you if you would allow me to. I can listen. You so sweetly offered me your email now I offer it back to you! tellmeaboutitmick@gmail.com. Huge hugs, love and blessings to you! MichelleMarie

      • Huge hugs sweet one! Julia would you add my Alex to your prayer list? She has tested positive to TB today and ive sahred with you her trails! I pray the test is wrong! She goes for an xray and then in48 hrs they read it again! I dont know what else to say hut to thank you and I pray for you that God stregth you! I cant decide if I will take a break or blog more! I know I need to get with God and get some wisdom and guidance! Love and hugs to you! 😄💗

      • I’ll pray for you and her. You can email me if you break from blogging ❤ You are my strength, I watch for you; you, God, are my fortress, (‭Psalm‬ ‭59‬:‭9‬ NIV)❤️❤️☺️

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