I wake early where world is hushed,
black bruise turned dark blue.
Lightest whisper coming still
a well to break my will. I do not want,
nor wish to show my weakness, but
my eyes fill with wonder, if lonely
shows my desperation for You.
Someone said this is an intimate cry
for You to hold my doubting face
between compassionate, scarred
hands, simmering with remark:
You are beautiful, there is no blemish
I see. You’ve made mistakes. You
have run and sought idols,
promising: never will I idle you. When
you see they all leave you, you cry,
Doesn’t anyone love me? Why won’t
anyone stay beside me long?
I watch your fall below, as a leaf
draws near the dirtied earth.
Stepped on & over, you forgo love,
burying your brilliant color under
soiled shame. I don’t deserve this,
a whisper caught between your
cracking spine, where I began.
You were a forethought.
The sun & moon could go in night’s
cover. A sparrow could fall mid flight
without their companion. How much
more do I love you! Why do you try
so hard to prove yourself to me?
I don’t care whether you didn’t call,
even though every thought is telling
you to push away the wait. I’m
asking you to be still. Your mind runs
away: I am not being productive. I’m
not doing what I’m told. I’m making
a mistake. I am a mistake. I must be
upsetting You, too. I should move
faster. Fast as these thoughts so I
make You proud. I can’t fail You, too.
Darling, your worry breaks My heart.
I clothe every flower, how much
more I care for the state of your
heart. You do not have to fear,
I am here with you. Do not fear
gazing in My eyes longer than you
are used to. I want you to know
I see you. All the pain. All the fear
whether this is true. I am no human,
but I clothed Myself in skin, tempted
with the riches of the world, tested
by Satan, to throw Myself under to
be lifted high again by angels. You
don’t have to test me. I am your
God, friend who knows the
weakness to believe you are the only
one who is misunderstood, lonely.
I hung on a cross, naked, pinned
with blood all down my body.
My mother cried with my friends,
knowing I was to die.
Stones and whips made Me cry out:
Father, why have you forsaken Me?
Forgive them, for they know not
what they do. I was alone, empty,
afraid. Still, I said, Father, I place My
spirit into Your hands. This is how
I love you. I love you first, before
Myself, so I may come to you every
day with Love upon my lips, glinting
shine in My eyes, waiting to hear you
speak sweetly your request: My face
absent reproach you announce over