Where I Put My Trust

This morning, I awoke with unidentified fear

overload. Staring out my bedroom door before

I utter: They changed it to Spring. I am a little

girl, crying for every monster to go away.

The lie I have to fill FAFSA out alone.

My chair still doesn’t have a charger.

You have to call and ask them.

$250

Housing.

Roommate.

Aid.

Performance.

Pressure I will put myself under.

Someone needs to approve me.

What if I fail?

Can’t find my classes?

Get lost and cry?

What if I can’t look people in the eyes again?

What if I can’t make any friends?

What if I know none of this, these lies, come

from You anyway? I am still

scared enough to sit here,

watching tears fall out

to the perpetual Self,

the one unchanged

yesterday to today.

The cure for pain,

where Your heart is prevailing

a truth neither my heart, nor brain

comprehend. Do not be afraid,

I am with you.

There is a joy resounding each labored,

God, where are You now?

I am sitting beside you, My child.

Pulling you closer, sp I may speak

My desire to waltz in three with you.

My Father, Myself, and My Holy Spirit

beg you sigh no more. For what is gone

after the storm you cry to Me, comes

now a flooding Love I’m leading these crippling

thoughts through unknown territory, proving

Myself true. I am your portion, your strength,

who takes you by the right hand, continually

asking: Darling, won’t you dance in this garden

I’ve tended with every you shed, waiting declared

dreams I wake up when you gaze My affection?

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2 thoughts on “Where I Put My Trust

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