I’m Giving Up

Yahweh, You are my Father who

saves me; today, tonight, tomorrow

I cry out to You.

Please let my prayer come before

You; turn Your ear to my cry for

mercy.

I am overwhelmed with pain,

seizing my troubled heart.

My life is drifting on a deathly stall,

counting among those known to go

down depression’s gaping black pit.

I am without strength, set apart with

the dead, the slain who lie in the

grave never to cross Your mind

again, empty Your care.

Here, I sit inside a sorrowed pit,

darkened depth.

Your anger pulses heavy upon me,

around me the waves crash

overhead, saltier than the last.

My closest friends You took

distances away from my touch,

only inked voice remains now.

I am repulsive to them, crying pleads

for a hug, my hand held, days where

laughter floods my lips guarding

gated mouth. They’re lives are

moving along with thanksgiving,

Your birthday, and I am still crying.

I am confined to this nighted room,

unable to escape with these crippled

legs tending my thoughts. My eyes

sunk by grief.

I call, each day, Father, Father!

spreading my empty hands before

You.

Do Your wonders alight the eyes

gone dim with death?

Do their spirits rise and shine,

praising Your name out of sleep

with endless sheep overhead?

Is Your declared beneath a

gravestone, Your faithfulness in

a family’s destruction?

Are Your wonders only known

in greedy, starving lands of

darkness? Or righteous deeds

in oblivion?

But, I cry to You, my only Friend,

for help. In the morning my prayer

comes before you.

Why do You cast me away, turning

Your face from me?

When I was born, I was close to

death, wrapped around my mother’s

umbilical cord. I have borne Your

terrors, letting despair become my

companion as I watch my family

unravel further, run quickly away

whenever You ask to embrace them.

I am swept in this currency, I have

nothing left, but You alone.

All day long, I am surrounded by a

flood, threatening to spill over all I

love. I am overcome, drowning

without a voice to scream.

No smile from stranger or friend

welcome a hand to hold-

darkness my only comfidant.

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5 thoughts on “I’m Giving Up

  1. well, here’s my hand across the webosphere my friend…love your raw post, I’m going to read it again because you inspire me to be real and honest with God like no one else…THAT is a gift….really love the part; My closest friends You took
    distances away from my touch,
    only inked voice remains now.
    mmmm~so beautifully describes some of my pain, that yes, leads me straight back to Him=)Are Your wonders only known

    in greedy, starving lands of
    darkness? Or righteous deeds
    in oblivion?
    really struck by this; I’ll be thinking on it for a good while!
    love
    Hollie

  2. Pingback: I’m Giving Up (Audio) | crippledatYourtable

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