You’ve turned my heart.
I’m not looking inward,
pointing a shaming finger,
or letting my tongue
tsk tsk my brain’s drifting
thought pattern. Here,
I sit upon comforting bed,
my eyes stung by sleep loss
a week could not gain.
Mother says I should slip
inside dream if my weary head allows.
Such a luxury will not happen today.
My eyes wish lending tears
for my friend, whom You love
more than I ever will. Oh, how
I can’t will them out, but keep
whispering, you are beautiful,
you don’t need another validating
shine given before your beginning.
He thought you, blue tendered skies
worth a glimpsing. whether laughing,
or weeping. You look at her, His Beloved,
declaring, Daughter, do you not see this well
will never delight you? Living water stands
willing give a flowing spring for all eternity.
I know all these loves
you thought surely would catch
your fragile bones. Calling your heart
the dearest ever to be caught. But,
they broke their forevers the moment
you cast your wishing net praying depth.
You come up empty each time.
I want to fill you with life, so you
know I am the way, the truth, the life.
I do not make mistakes, you have
a room in the home of my Father.
No matter what gifts you may squander,
roaming desert lands hoping another human claims you worthy,
I will call you back to Me. I will woo you as I did Gomez, speaking
gently the promises as a compassionate mother. I will not leave,
nor forsake you. I will rest my hand upon you. Peace not of this world
will free you from expectation to be less than the child I’ve made you.
You will no longer be trouble or afraid. I’ve been waiting, and I will
continue on if that is what you need. But, oh my darling, I ache
intimacy with you only. Can’t you see?
We fight the same battle—licking wounds brought by anger—fearful
maybe our voices are best laid to rest early. Still, a prayer finds me.
May you bless us , keeping us in Your presence, so wherever
we may look, we are overcome by the brilliancy of Your face
sweeping us up & away.