to bring light back to your eyes

You know what’s awesome about this? The way the picture is taken, blurry, helps me imagine Jesus weeping, “I did this for you, Julia.” I don’t think I could bare the look in his eyes. The heart wrenching love. I’d fold myself into his arms and probably babble on about how I can’t wrap my mind about such & yes, I know I’m not supposed to, but those are some massive scars for breaking your heart unto death. And if I touch them, will you or I or both, tremble at how deep our bond goes? Would I feel every word, line, poem never read/sung beating a melody we can’t refrain from? Would you ache joy having me so close?

Would we fall in hallelujah chorus knowing this all we’ve ever longed?

I almost wanted to scrap this because Jesus’ right thumb doesn’t look like a thumb. More like two pointer fingers. Or he has two pointer fingers. When I heard, Never Enough by Matthew Mole & Richard Dawson yesterday (after months), I was captivated by the line: “Here’s my hands, my nail pierced hands.” I became squirmy & instantly wanted to draw Jesus showing me his scars. It also made me want to cry, which I know that’s a sign for what moves me/

I kept thinking, “how did they get you down from the cross? Were the holes tiny little voids of life, empty, heavy? That was difficult to draw. Because I was thinking, you’d show every lost person your wounds if they were one on one right, but we only have your word “walk by faith, not by. sight.”

Every drawing is that. I can’t hear the words in my head, move this way, now that way; as I do with a poem, but have this little seed of faith you’re with me in everything drawing. As with every poem I’ve written, you whisper the same words: It’s beautiful. Keep going.

So much more rambling I could do, but I’m tired and still quite taken by his wounds…and how he will rescue, resurrect us soon.


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