hoping pain will dissipate.
a girl sings about a home
we have yet to know, in
my dream i’m sitting, spinning
out of control. a gust of wind
no more than a group of grown
laughter wheels me out the door,
into a hospital’s hallway. people
are rushing around me, curled up
on the linoleum floor, sobbing for
help. desperate (pleas)e, but an
elementary school teacher only
echoes, “I’ll pray for you.” between
this sleeping medicine makes me want to sleep continuously, which I’m guessing is a good thing since I haven’t slept well in months. It also makes me want to do absolutely nothing. No music or being on the computer or my phone. It all makes my head hurt. But it also makes me have real wacky dreams, this one apparently telling me that my pain is funny to people and that I feel forgotten. I know it isn’t true, but I hate how real the dream felt. Which is probably why I randomly burst into tears this morning and asked God, “do you hate me?” into my pillow.
I’m going to try and eat now. Or fall back asleep.