It’s one of my favorites & one God continues to bring back to me. With my grandma passing, I’ve been more confused than ever about where my life is going & how God is using these drawings to heal me. And others.
When reading the verse, I’ve always thought about the kind of “peace the world gives.” The two that came to mind: money & cigarettes. Both of these can provide a momentary peace, until they run out. Then discontentment always comes. Cigarettes are not my thing, but I’ve seen the effects from people I love.
I know God does provide money, but he says we shouldn’t live for the love of it. I’ve always thought what I would do if I ran out of money. Because I live on a low amount & don’t have a job, I’ve found that when I get low, I get scared. I used to tell my mom I would rather be poor, than have money. I don’t like it, or what it turns others into. I don’t want to become that way.
I try to help people where I can, most times before thinking about what I need. Or want. Honestly, I worry too much about both. I worry about how best to help another. Ex: be quiet when they talk, what to say, how to pray, what to give, if I should.. If I’m following God’s will with drawing, poetry, does he hear me? Is it okay to desire reading? Will I be sad forever? Blah blah blah..
This is how I get angsty and upset. Overthinking. I let everything overrule my peace, instead of going, “God, you take this. It’s too much.”
This past week, I’ve realized how much I need God’s peace. How much the world needs his peace. How much I contemplate the gray of my life & how God is gently trying to break through that with his light.