awe my heart

i hear you,
rejoice in me—
what if, i can’t
trust you, me,
anyone. you’re
going to teach
me in the way
i should go.
my legs do not
wish move left
or right. you are
not asking my go.
rejoice. right here.
right now. sing
as the birds out
side your window.
heavy heart wakes
me up: God, i can’t
do this. i grieve
i’m as selfish as they
come; i want what
wastes away. i beg
pardon my doubt,
let me lose myself
your way—

i woke up this morning with a heavy heart–anxiety. i’m laying there telling God how i’m afraid. how i don’t know where he’s going to lead me. or ask. i’m realizing how selfish i am. how i’m too wrapped up in my head with worry. Over past and future stuff. i keep forgetting the present. So, God, in his lovingkindness, gently says: I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go with my  loving eye on you.

Then, once I get over myself I started praying for others. and while i’m praying, i feel my heart lift.

it amazes me how much i want to help other people and everything in life right now is a gentle push to bring them to the Savior.

in prayer. i told him it feels unimportant, no one will see it. and he goes: that’s the point, Julia.

I take this as God’s way of, “Duh.” Are  you rolling your eyes, too, God?

The idea of you sitting on your throne with the angels: Finally, she’s getting it! Let’s polka!

You and Grandma in matching robes..I’m thinking pink for her, white for her. dancing to Who Stole the Kieshka (totally spelled that wrong, but let’s go with it…)

I wonder if there’s a holy (happier( version in Heaven: Who Wants to Greet Ya, Won’t You Greet Him Back?

HELLO JESUS! HOW ARE YA?

okay, so I want to keel over in laughter, probably because this is funnier to me than it will be to others. Maybe not.

But this just proves AGAIN how hilarious Jesus is.

And now, I kind of want some quiche…. (I always want quiche after hearing this song. and isn’t keeshka sausage….?)

oh sompingme, let’s dance 😀

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