answer, please

i don’t know
how to see this
as a gift—yes
to a school i want
nothing to do with.
i didn’t ask for this,
though i’ve spent
too many days
wondering what,
who, where i should
be. God—how i am
five, leaning heavily
upon your chest, with
all the weeping a rebelling
child can muster. because
i want another

FMF prompt: gift. when God answers you with something you don’t want, have worried about in the depths of your heart. i could say i’m mad, bit i’m scared. i don’t know what to major in. i really want answers right now. i want him to wrap me up for hours & hours and tell me it will be alright. over and over i’m scared of his answers; it won’t be what i want. i have a control problem, i know.

i need prayers. the anxiety and and way i want to cry over this is a lot for me. because it’s silly.

i want to retreat. He isn’t going to let me though.

Continually tae me by the right hand and whisper, I am here to help you.

I hate how my heart feels like a billion pounds.

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6 thoughts on “answer, please

  1. Hi I’m visiting from Five Minute Friday. Praying for you- I can identify with fear and anxiety and struggling to trust God in the uncertainty of how things are going to work out. Praying for peace and that you will know God close beside you.

  2. Sounds like you’re at my daughter’s life stage. Take heart. You may not have all the answers, but at least you know some of the questions. The One who holds the answers will reveal them in His good time.

  3. Thank you for your honesty! Yes, life can throw things at you and often it is overwhelming. Praying for you and lots of perspective and trust. And little encounters with God that encourage as you stumble along.

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