you, God, comfort me

last night,

You sat beside 

while melody kept 

me lost. i jumped 

up, seeing no one

there. God, how 

terror ran through 

my gasp. my mind 

wishing she was there

with warm smile & blue 

babushka, but only a

picture of a winter

robin casting

dark away,

orients my heart

to see–
dear Jesus, I will never understand how grandma tucking me in at night when I was young, is stuck in my heart. She can’t come back and sit at my bedside. I know this. But those nights, like last night when my heart jumps at thought she pressed down the comforter, because it moved without me moving, makes me feel like I’m crazy.

I’ve been doing so well, but something deep within still feels like I need to split open.

Oh Jesus, I can’t do this without you. I know it was you at the bed last night.

I just don’t know.

And there the birds go chirping in song again.

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3 thoughts on “you, God, comfort me

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