choking on “help me!”

if I could reach

my hands past

to the distance

I think You stay–

tell me I have lost

the peace You’ve sought

keeping me hostage

to, walking this ache

my heart thinks maybe paradise.

what can I do with everything breaking

within–Jesus, I can’t have

darkness be my only friend,

whispering Your goodness

will harm me somehow.

You are not the fear

I hear crying in my mind,

nor dreams where I am

drowning–Peter begging,

Save me! because he looked

past Love, into waves waiting

his death. No softly lay me down

to sleep, but a child thinking

he knows better than his Father–

who needs to go together, when

doubts insist you trust your own

frailty? yes, Lord, this is me.

apparently, it’s national poetry day. and lots of people are dedicating poems to animals, people, etc. dedicating this to Jesus, because even though I keep getting pulled into thoughts, feelings, aches, He takes it in all love. I’m so thankful He doesn’t give up on me, cause at this time I’d like to give up on me. And for the people who have stuck around me, I want to give so many hugs. This year has been a serious struggle & these last few days, reminded me how much I NEED Jesus. I NEED his joy.

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