without regret

I’ve been here before,
sides throbbing & pleading,
i’ll give you a dollar if you make
this go away. are you hearing me?
what i forget to say, come thou fount
of richest mercy. for my mouth, flesh cut
to the quick; it’s going to be alright doesn’t
register to my heart. this isn’t a toy neatly
packaged in this body, but the pain feels
as if I’ve just showed up for my own life
again. I’ve heard the whisper, lay it (anxiety
over what isn’t) down and i’m all right here
before you. i want to draw, hug a dear friend
i’ve not seen in a year, trade silence and give
each other presence. yet here I sit with you,
Love, promising withhold no good thing from
me, hopeful grief will unveil like a skin; joy found
unkempt.