let me focus not on the ‘no’–
the way you say it,
gentle enough for water
to flow out of my eyes & in
this open space. my Jesus,
how I am your little child, daddy!
daddy, daddy! I can, want, must
do this! and how you just smile–
I know, but you must slow, receive
my focus this week has been on me and what want/think I should be doing. You know what that is? Let’s launch a billion books! Jesus in his kindness watched me cry over a sort of a rejection letter from a launch team from a well known author, Annie Downs, to telling someone else no to helping launch her book, because my motives were purely to launch a book and maybe to help but mostly just to launch another book about Jesus..
Hello, world, meet Julia, the striver. I make myself sick, really. Want, want, want. And Jesus says, I want you, not the striver, my beloved girl.
Even as you are faithless, I AM faithful to love you.
(this verse won’t let me go.)