show me the way 

Abba,

I’ve reached my limit–

I’ve been here for a while now,’

torn between what I want/should do.

Here I am at this fork,

to the left another chance to launch

a fiction book. To the right, an open

door to finish a class to break into print.

And I cry because I don’t know the road I

should take & beg

my heart you take.
***

I really love not checking mail all day. And then scrolling through going: why am I given another chance to be on a launch team, for fiction. A little more: they’re going to let me finish this class I bailed on 3 years ago? I don’t know if I really want to do this..

Goes to check book for this launch: yeah, I can agree with the princess of the story. Restless, wanting to escape (more my mind).. But it’s the last day to apply..they’re picking people tonight..is this a trap?

Looks at class with these thoughts: what can I write? Ugh.

God knows I want to learn to write under a deadline but not out of striving, which is what I feel I’ll do with both of these. I’d like to drop both and be like, whatever, I’m done.

I’d like to apply for the launch and see if I get rejected. That would help me hear God’s voice over the liar and my own fear…

See, this is my limit.

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2 thoughts on “show me the way 

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