in Your right hand

I can sense You

in the secret place

where these tears 

are spilling out–

milk we share absent

cookies. This is strength

becoming weak–I don’t 

understand the little bird’s

song outside my closed window,

pane; these words are sung in

refrain. Let me my Savior find joy,

Fmf: share. I’ve read, heard God has best interest at heart, mind at least 4 times the last few weeks. It has made me happy, but today reading it, I cried. He knows I’m really happy being able to encourage others right now in the midst of this longing, waiting. Seriously. I can feel swirly feeling most times. Or to pray. 

Though if I’ve honest, it feels kinda robotic lately. And I don’t mean it to be. But I’m tired, and I know if I don’t what to pray, the Holy Spirir groans. I know He understands.

I never knew how much time I would need to receive God’s company, His love for me. Because I know we are supposed to love others as ourselves, but I realize I don’t love myself very well if I don’t believe I’m enough to the One who made me.

But I know that even through my wondering and aching, He loves me and will continue to because he first loved me.

Birds singing real close is one of those ways today. 

3 thoughts on “in Your right hand

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