I awake to sunpeeking through blinds–
how I am, Abba. My eyes
are closed & yet sometimes
I think these images in my mind
are mine alone. These works of
my hand–but no, who am I to think of good myself? I am short
of the glory, fallen in the mud with
wrong I choose to live beneath–
I’ve run apology into the ground, I’m sorry, Father. I’ll stay here because we know what a runner
I am & I am prone to misunderstand. I’ve heard Your
face is radiant, voice inviting. It
has been so long since I’ve laughed without fear, worrying
I know Your power–I’ve seen the
way You open doors out from danger, into wide spacious places.
Where the birds sing and flowers bloom & yet I cling to the earth
as if I hold any claim.
But I never will, Abba. For all is a gift I know I don’t deserve, but You
say, I still want to give to you My heart. I cannot deny My faithfulness to you.
I sit with the broken in my chest,
watching this red flow out, out, out
–ache waiting to once again meet
my Lover, speaking renewal.