what tender care

outside the window

grow grasses green jealousy;
Abba, open me.

petals show bruises

my destitute heart cannot

understand, the burn.

I can’t stop working haikus in my head. 

And these are based on how I am, judgmental of myself, then others. I hate it so much. I’m more aware of how sick my heart is and how I want to break out of my body and beg Jesus to close my mouth. I’m scared of how angry, sad I am, how I find myself a bruise. And yet, when Jesus took the bruises of my pain, He thought of me. And how I find myself the least bit beautiful, but He says I am.

He’s the beautiful one though. Who can make flowers like that?
Matthew 6:27, 30 “Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. 

Ahh, I love spending my days in His presence right now, reading and talking to him and writing like crazy. And also, I really really love the Message bible like a lot. And the last thing I bolded has made me wonder what that means and then I replace it with: love reality, love intiatuve, love provisions. Not far away, but personal, right where I am.

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