I am a seed
to go. Under
of past mistakes,
failures & heartache,
I wait to grow. Sun bears
heavy these days, green
stem wanting push up up
out to greet You. I am tired,
this is all I know, this darkness
with promise I will come out
with a beautiful perfume to please
fmf: grow. I missed yesterday. I wanted to write here, but I’ve been doing more journaling than anything else. And I kept thinking yesterday if I’ve grown any.
Ot if want to grow out of the pain I’ve been feeling for weeks. Grow out of grief, comparison, jealousy. Because it’s so much easier to hold close. Or to be so hard on myself.
I got on a launch team for this book Wednesday. I haven’t grown in the area of waiting because I was like, God maybe they’re still choosing people even though the deadline has passed. Let me check here. And see if it’s in my email..nope.
Until Wednesday night, when it slips in there and I look up at my ceiling: what? I had this current of fear run through me. God knows I’m a little crazy for wanting to launch books..to read other’s stories about how they’ve found Him. (I miss fiction a little, but I can’t get into it right now..)
But part of me doesn’t understand that to grow, you need breaks. I’m on it when I get on a new team. Starting to jump into book. Seeing if I can interact with anyone. Help. But today, I can feel it: God, I need to start. Get a start so I don’t fall behind. Let’s get some healing right now.
Child, you need to rest. Breathe. You’re not missing anything. Relax.
Make yourself home in My love.
And You are patient, kind, believe in all things, hope all things.
Yes, beloved. Be loved. Give into grace.