You, my life giver.

I am a seed

with nowhere 

to go. Under 

ground, soil

of past mistakes,

failures & heartache,

I wait to grow. Sun bears

heavy these days, green

stem wanting push up up 

out to greet You. I am tired,

this is all I know, this darkness

with promise I will come out

with a beautiful perfume to please

fmf: grow. I missed yesterday. I wanted to write here, but I’ve been doing more journaling than anything else. And I kept thinking yesterday if I’ve grown any. 

Ot if want to grow out of the pain I’ve been feeling for weeks. Grow out of grief, comparison, jealousy. Because it’s so much easier to hold close. Or to be so hard on myself. 

I got on a launch team for this book Wednesday. I haven’t grown in the area of waiting because I was like, God maybe they’re still choosing people even though the deadline has passed. Let me check here. And see if it’s in my email..nope.

Until Wednesday night, when it slips in there and I look up at my ceiling: what? I had this current of fear run through me. God knows I’m a little crazy for wanting to launch books..to read other’s stories about how they’ve found Him. (I miss fiction a little, but I can’t get into it right now..)

But part of me doesn’t understand that to grow, you need breaks. I’m on it when I get on a new team. Starting to jump into book. Seeing if I can interact with anyone. Help. But today, I can feel it: God, I need to start. Get a start so I don’t fall behind. Let’s get some healing right now.

Child, you need to rest. Breathe. You’re not missing anything. Relax.

How?

Make yourself home in My love.

And You are patient, kind, believe in all things, hope all things.

Yes, beloved. Be loved. Give into grace.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “You, my life giver.

  1. You are surrounded by love and that will always get you through. Two hands, one for letting go of things (hope and gentleness and forgiveness), the other strength, for holding onto all that is good. Warm embrace.

    • I don’t know what to say, Belinda. Besides that my heart hurts and I really needed to hear this (or read). Thank you for the reminder and your kindness always. ❤️❤️ hug.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s