smile heals me

If I lose my mustard seedof faith, will you love me still-

Abba? I awoke with a voice

in my head that said I was 

Ugly & I sighed in belief because

I can’t change myself, these thoughts that cross examine

My every motive. Will you come

soon enough and put me on your 

shoulders and take me to a place

where your sm
fmf: lose

I had this image of Abba and I in a field while writing the end of this. He is looking at my blues and reaching for my hand, telling me again and again: it’s okay. It’s okay to feel sad, feel deeply.

And I just want to run into his arms and sob: none of this feels okay. Look at me. I feel like the more I share my heart, everyone goes or silence or shame and I don’t know how to explain all these feelings, the ones tha yearn for the people you’ve put in my path to see you. For me to see you. How do you stay in relationship with me? How do I stay in relationship with those that do know you and don’t.

Let me love you, he whispers in my ear. Then it will be an overflow of my love to those that need it and you, who needs never walk alone. And talk to me always, darling. Be open and honest. Know I hear you. And I am not walking away.

I love you. Receive me. And those I send your way. Rest in me.

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