to save me?

When I am afraid
I will not heal though

I’ve read Your Word,

are You still holding my hand?

“Do not be afraid, I am here to help you.”

& I watch myself speak 

the words of pain that have 

Soaked my years before; rain

I could never myself dry myself from. 

Were You watching me sob into the couch 

wanting to love without fearing 

punishment was close?

When everything was dark,

were You readying yourself 

fmf: heal

I wrote today’s poem to music. I find it hilarious how Jesus still meets me in the noise because I can’t handle the quiet. Waiting is hard. Like super duper hard. To love where you are while waiting for new things to take place. Watching yellow butterflies fly on by and laughing because hello guidance & hope! and they are so pretty. Answers that still haven’t come and hearing your thoughts: oh, Jesus I hope you’ll come through! I’m afraid you won’t. What if I’m put to shame? I feel crazy. Is anything too hard for you? Show me which way..now, I have to trust you. Send me word of your unfailing love. The butterflies again! What is with them?!

It’s like he’s whispering, healing is here! but my brain is all, look at what you’ve done! taking risks and hoping Jesus comes through..do you see how big of a mountain that is?

Yes, I do but the mustard seed of faith I have is persistent. Jesus is FOR me and He LOVES ME, so I say, LORD break through because that is love and I long to love you as I let you love me.

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2 thoughts on “to save me?

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