give quietness of heart

On a love seat 

in a hotel room,

I sit. A fan blows

to my right while

to my left music plays 

I can’t make out. A door

opens. Wheels moves.

Feet. God, I’m tired &

weary, but somehow 

still present. Today,

I will visit a friend I’ve 

not seen in months,

years & I will wonder 

what the wait has done

for my heart. The surrender 

to 

fmf: surrender.

Surrender. Very interesting prompt for today. After surrendering to my fear yesterday and being still, waiting, God gave me yet another opportunity to the thing I still struggle with: asking for help. It was weird how after writing this poem, He swoops in with something he only could’ve planned. As I sit here, realizing how well he knows me (this I’m sure is going to be life long), how he knows I’m scared and wondering when, the littlest thing makes me 😭 or 😮. More 😮 than anything else. And because I’m tired and don’t have a whole to say, other than I shouldn’t even be afraid of God or worried he’s forgotten me at all, I’m going to leave this.

Heal me deep within, God.

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4 thoughts on “give quietness of heart

  1. Learning to ask for help….Julia, I’ve been stewing in worry the last week or so over family things I can’t control, having to give them over and over again to Jesus. Then he reminds me “I have friends! they can pray!” and he brings to mind someone to ask for help.

    Thank you for your candor here–and the beautiful song–I’ve never heard it.

    • It’s a very difficult to lesson to learn, Jody. The asking for help, giving over to Jesus the worry & anxiety over family things you can’t control. I’ve leaned if I don’t though, I start feeling sad, helpless and mostly angry. Really thankful for the friends who will pray for/with me.

      You’re welcome for the song–there’s another one too that’s been really hitting me in my season, The Long Defeat.–it hits me deep.

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