(o) see You again 

God, come again
to my side–Your hand

in mine makes me able

to breathe again. Tell me

again I’m wonderfully made 

by You. Look in my eyes, whisper again 

the life draining 

from You can be filled to full again. All I 

have is Yours here.

My heartbeats. The blinks of my eyes in 

between the wait

fmf: breathe.

I took an unintended break from here last week. I feel like my life is starting to become that way. Everything feels like one huge Selah. And I’m tired to the point I’d like to sleep (but I don’t) all day and fight-y to the point I’m weary. I’ve gotten hooked into a show that is like a soap opera, and I keep trying to pull away because I can see it’s going in very uncomfortable turns and has been but can’t pull away. 

I’m noticing this the closer I get to Jesus, the distractions fly in front of my face and I’m like, I can do this. It’s just a thing I can walk away from. Err, nevermind. Look, who’s been on the couch for hours? And then by the end of the night, I go back to Jesus like HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? What makes writers write things like that and I keep watching? Whyy? I’ll hang out with you but wait going to watch that..  I really need Your Word. You. Something about Your goodness. How does my heart break like this for people who I don’t really know that well at all and Jesus, my body, worn out and weary. WHERE IS THE SHINY? sigh. And how is it that I keep coming back to You when I feel You hate me for being so easily swayed. 

The beauty to all this is the friends who God has been using to listen and encourage me. Like Megan, who sat with me and listened to me sing ELLIE HOLCOMB’S NEW ALBUM pretty much over and over and over instead of working on something with full attention. And talk about how her and Sara Groves need to sing the whole Bible because it’d be awesome! And I’d never turn it off. And how we are going to have road trip to Texas because Ellie doesn’t have a stop here in GA and I want to drag another friend with us (probably wouldn’t be dragging to her..). But this ALBUM AND UGHHH.  And road trip! I really dream a little too much maybe about road tripping with Megan. But God gets it. And I think he may find it as funny as I do. And randomly dancing. And this:

This is waiting for the Cheesecake Factory and eye spy and laughter. Because that’s how Megan rolls especially when I’m tired. And cold. And all the time.  But was worth it just to share with her. 

And watch her make this:

I love the glove heart. And how the g in delight looks like it’s lifting up the e in every. Totally describes our friendship 🙂

Not sure where this post was going but looks like it went to gratitude to God for Megan. For how good He is. 


4 thoughts on “(o) see You again 

  1. Julia, you are wonderfully made by God! We all struggle with distractions, good and bad. But you recognize it and call on God, for His love and grace to bring you to Him. That’s what we all need to do in our wandering: Call out to God to set us back on track. I enjoy your post. Please keep it up 🙂

  2. I love this post…veryreal, raw and honest. At least you recognize the distractions. I too get distracted even with my Bible studies…it’s too much sometimes. I need to just sit with God and be close to Him. Love the photos too, made me smile. Keep shining for Jesus 🙂

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