want to trust you.

God,
I didn’t expect to say no. Or get the email. It feels so weird saying no to something I know won’t give me joy. Like I’m supposed to do it because if I’d like it as my job one day than that means I have to say yes to all the books. Every single one. But you know it will make my soul heavy. This is weird space. This no. This waiting. This peace. And yet feeling like maybe I just denied your blessing. But I don’t want to be pushed by the fear of missing out. And granted I’m tired and may not feel this way tomorrow and will immediately want to sign up, but I 
fmf: expect.

Today I said no to the opportunity to be on a launch team. It’s so weird in the space of: I don’t actually want to read this. Then: shouldn’t I want to read it? I mean, what if it’s really good? Then I’ll be missing out..and I don’t want to miss out. 

But it’s not like God hasn’t continued letting me do this, even when I’ve said no 3 other times within the last few months. 

I need to remember this. He is always faithful. In the waiting, wondering, hoping. He is faithful and I will not miss out on what he has, even if there’s waiting, tears and panic. Resting is good. I want his best.

 The only thing that we can see is darkness up ahead/But You’re asking us to lay our worry down and sing a song instead.

Looks like I’m singing this for awhile. Or all her songs. 😂

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7 thoughts on “want to trust you.

  1. Julia, saying “no” is its own kind of freedom. These lines are right on, “He is always faithful. In the waiting, wondering, hoping. He is faithful and I will not miss out on what he has, even if there’s waiting, tears and panic. Resting is good. I want his best.”

    • Thank you, Jody, for the reminder that “no” is it’s own kind of freedom. This goes in like in line with what we were talking about the other day. ☺️ those lines are good reminders. I’m glad they spoke to you ❤️

  2. While saying no may feel like you are letting someone else down, it can really be the best thing you can do for them. If I say yes to something that I can’t fully commit to, more than likely, I’m not going to give it my all. By saying no, another who can give 100% will be a huge blessing. I hope that you continue to sing a song, friend 🙂

    • And I’d like to give my all to something I love than just to gain more experience. I like what you said about by me saying no I can let someone give 100% and let them be a blessing. Thank you for that thought. And I will continue to try to. Ellie sure gets me in the mood to sing to Jesus. I hope you do too ❤️

    • Thank you, Carolina. “A resounding yes somewhere else” must keep my eyes peeled for this. Love you, beautiful friend. So glad you’re my neighbor too! (Now I’m thinking of mr. Rogers 😂)

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