like my mouth is trying to run a race. 

I am caught in

the blessing when 

my phone lights with

the picture and I hear 

her ask, how I am. I 

say good..ish and she 

repeats the ish. And then 

later on, her laugh fetches 

mine as we realize how hard 

connecting is. But what she doesn’t know 

is how I’ve missed this welcoming space

to ramble though my voice cuts off, not in 

tears but movement 
fmf: blessing

It is a bblessing to call a friend after you haven’t talked since last year (on the phone) and remembering how good it is to laugh. To hear them laugh. And their kids in the background. And what you are pretty sure is a bird. And god’s reminder that though you may be tired of reaching out to anyone, afraid nothing will happen, or you will hurt them/or they will you, be a burden..God drives these fears out. Even if it’s slow. So slow. But it’s worth it for laughter. To remember you are always welcome even if you’re talking too fast and you’re cutting out. And some anticipatory happines coming. And lingering in the silence. And reminder to not give up.  

There’s been a lot of praying this week and confusion, some anger which I think is serious deep sorrow, cat holding and late nights with tears that stopped my phone screen from working. Laughter from a typo that has turned into something without fail makes me laugh.

And this. And lavender sugar cookies. And playing fetch with the dog whose eyes gleam with God’s compassion. And I think I just named so many blessings. Abundance in the hard places. ☺️

Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. 

6 thoughts on “like my mouth is trying to run a race. 

  1. I love this Julie. so much so good about it. Lots of good things and THEN best of all, discovering you are not too much for a friend. I get to feeling like that sometimes, when the little girl voice that says I am too much starts getting loud. Then if I can find the adult voice that says the truth…good news.

    • Carol, I’ve been thinking about this on/off for awhile. What you say about the little girl voice meeting an adult voice – I feel like that’s how I am. But it’s hard to hear the truth even with compassion. It stuns me every time.

  2. There is something about laughter with a good friend, especially if it’s one you haven’t seen in a long time! It’s like “coming home.” I’m sorry for your difficult week (though cat holding makes things WAY better!), and so thankful God gave you a little laughter and comfort in the midst of all the rest. 💕

    • Yes, I’m hoping there is plenty of laughter when we see each other in October. I love what you say about “coming home”–it sounds wonderful. Yes, cat holding makes things WAYY better, especially when they linger. I’m thankful, too. ☺️💕

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