I need you. I don’t know how else to say it. But I really really REALLY wholeheartedly need YOU. Do you know that it’s only by your grace I got the cat into the bathroom? I didn’t want to do it either. I hate how she got out of the bedroom. All because I wasn’t watching.
Watching to make sure the dog didn’t go upstairs. Because if the cat gets out then she could get outside and that could mean death or running away and never coming back.
It isn’t lost on me how the night before my surgery for my hysterectomy she broke her leg. now I think of when I look at her all I think of is me. Except when she’s trapped, she really knows how to cry. Or lay down and purr. Not stuff it back until later.
She wants to be free even with the limp. And I am afraid of freedom. You know how when I’m asked what I want I say don’t know or even given what I want I’m hesitant? How do you heal that? How do you make me embrace the good and not make me continue to ask, that’s going to be it isn’t it?
If my parents know how to give me good gifts (i.e. Lunchables, a roof over my head, food, water, chocolate), how much more do you give me who keeps on asking you?
Mercy. Grace. May your kindness lead me to many thank yous.
Thank you for my moo who prays over all my freak outs the past few months. Who listens to these laments. Not just these, but the ones I’ve shared for months. The ones I’ve said ughh, this hurts. Why? Why? Why? WHY? Ughh. For this misspelling of noo into moo one of these days when my heart hurt so much.
And how we’ve made it into a name for each other. And laugh over it every time. The way she’s let me cry on my phone literally and let me choke out words instead of type. And has prayed until something changes and has kept praying.
The way she will randomly moo me throughout the day. I smile so big every time.
The way she has sent me book mail and letters though I don’t need more books (but I know it means she loves me a whole lot. Really.) Moosquick.
Her presence. Even from the miles and the time difference, our hearts are together that know no time. Or maybe eternal time.
The fact she has been encouraging me to write a book of prayers is a gentle reminder I can’t give up so easy. It makes me love you more for the friends you know I need. I hope I’m a faithful friend as she has been to me through all her pain.
You are so gracious for putting her in my life. I hope you let us meet beside a carpet one day. We’ll just say it’s magic. Bring her healing soon, Lord. You are good and faithful and I know you work pain for good, but I beg you bring relief soon.
Until then, bring on the moosquick. 😂
Ps. This letter went from desperation to blessings fast…best of rambles. I feel I’m going to be talking about friends for a whileee. ☺️ oh, and thank you for more scripture snacks today. 😋