You brought to life the part of me I thought had died
Cause You stood right there until I saw me through Your eyes.
Every time I hear Britt Nicole sing this, I start welling up. I don’t know if it’s because I yearn to see this or You’re working on it. I think You’re working on it because I’m starting to get some of my joy back. Over math. Helping her through it. I’m sorry I just cant get over it. Because I hate it, but I can stay on FaceTime (also freak out going on but never want to get off now) working on fractions and listening and making mistakes together and figuring things out together. And laughter. So much of that.
I don’t know how to thank You for whatever You’re doing. The space and time to pour into this friendship, To be a cheerleader for her. She’s going to pass, Lord. I can feel it. We will dance around in December even if we aren’t physically together. Though I don’t have to tell You that’d be cool if You could make that happen. Presence for Christmas. Yours and ours together. There would be way too many tears. And hugs. There will be way too many tears when she passes. Way.
I really wasn’t expecting this. That I would make math easy for someone to understand. Me. Of all the people. To get up everyday lately and be excited to go through this with her. It’s like a fire inside. And going through Your word together and talking about hard things. Seriously, this bible plan is a deep one. It scared me looking at some of the days so far, but ugh, it’s so good to be able to talk about stuff. It’s teaching me to listen and ask questions. And not be so afraid to share my heart. How hard it is to apologize because I feel so bad when I hurt someone. And then I think they wont’t love me anymore.
It’s silly, I know. It is not all about me either. But here’s what I’m going to thank You for today.
-fruit. Especially those tangelos
-working on math and talking to you all the through. (I really want to know what the answers are..)
-making this playlist for her. The joy inside, Lord, that I have, digging it.
-noise canceling headphones
-tea. Chai, you kniow
-being a cheerleader. (not literal, but I think pom poms would be cool. Maybe a shirt that says You go, girl! Hahaha.)
And this is how I #beatdepression today.
your tender-haired girl