2/6/18

//

Day 66

//

God,

Here I am 

on this Tuesday 

surrounded by Your love –

it comes steady, concern 

from two friends asking if 

I’m okay. How do I say, I’m 

being pushed by fear to believe

the worst: I’m too much. I feel that way 

at least. I give so much & I’m so afraid 

silence 

is what I deserve. I want to close myself 

off from anymore 

rejection. It’s perceived, I know this. It’s 

always good in the giving, then the 

waiting. And honestly, it’s fine. Until: 

whoa. What’s all this emotion for? You’re

crying? And then the silence. Not a word. 

And I tell myself things like, they’re

busy. It was good in giving. Shouldn’t 

care about response. But my heart 

screams, I want to be loved. Why do 

people have to leave? Why does it have to 

hurt to risk closeness when you put your 

heart out and say, ‘I love you. I want to be 

with you.’ But it never seemed quite 

mutual? And then to put yourself out 

there again, and something will not let 

me stop, Lord. Even tho the enemy

screams louder and louder & I want to 

hide away, You will not let me. 

Help me see what You see.

Help me believe I’m worthy of love.

Help me see my beauty. 

Love 

your tender haired girl.

Ps. I know You are faithful and good. This hurts way more than I understand. This feeling of rejection from years ago. Help me let it go, Lord. Please. 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “2/6/18

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s