11/9/18

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Day 124

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Dear God,

Please lift the weight

In my chest—I cant miss him

Anymore. I don’t want to—the

Ache to all him how he is or

Share about going to see Lauren

Daigle—it will not come off the same

As telling a guy who wants to follow

You – and cares my heart in a way I’ve

Yet to experience. It is the waves of

Wondering – is there someone out there

Who wants to pursue me & not as a side

Thing? Will I at some point stop wanting

Him to come to You? The joy of Your love

Even when your heart is aching?  Will this

Get any easier? Why did marriage have to

Be a thing this year? Will You hold me

Close now & bring laughter again & again

Until this is distant & far from my memory?

It is hard, Lord, to sit in this darkness along 

With friends aching — each of us in a distant 

Circle—this hurts but it will get better—we tell

Each other over & over—God has this—can I

Have a listening ear? Will there be a joyful time

At one time where the confetti can explode &

The dancing Ive seen in my dreams will feel as

The best surrender?

I give You this burden

because You promise

You tenderly care for me

& You will lift up my head.

 

fmf: burden.

 

*written some with/without timer because I thought it started, but apparently not. This was a hard one to write, but I’m so thankful for the friends who are there to pick me up & speak truth when it is hard to take because my heart just aches. But there is music and laughter & prayer & a fun game called Red Flags I want to play forever & a Christmas concert: Lauren Daigle’s Behold Tour in December & a fun countdown app another friend showed me. So, no matter how much pain I feel right now, God’s got me under His wings. I’m holding on to that today.

5 thoughts on “11/9/18

  1. Thank you for honestly sharing your heart. This really encouraged me. I think we all need to be reminded at times that there is Hope in front of each of us.

  2. “You tenderly care for me & You will lift up my head.” Yes, He will! Thank you for your transparency and reminding us that we are tenderly cared for by our Heavenly Father. God bless you.

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