me with the rainfall.

Here we are in

summer—the sky is cloudy &

my chest wants to cave under

the weight of this grief, a new

layer You’ve access to. Lord,

it’s my honesty, it’s too much- his

desire for me when I don’t see a

desire for You, too. When I speak

Up & say, this is too soon. We are

not in a relationship yet…

with my

chest almost like a trigger of

memories from a year ago, except

a year ago I wouldn’t have said

no. So, this is new & I hear You

whisper: I’m proud of you. But yet

here I sit with the swirling

thoughts: ghosted again. Why

couldn’t we just talk about it or

for him to say sorry, this isn’t

going to work? But I spoke up

again. 2 times in 2 days. That is

something to behold. The anxiety

only goes to show me I’m afraid

of physical intimacy a little too

soon—break off my fear before

the summer is up. Show me a guy

can have interest but respect too.

I’m worthy and I’m finally

starting to believe it. Shame can’t

cover me when I’m looking to

You. You who is faithful and true.

One who is looking out for me.

Hold

– five minutes Friday prompt: summer, written for 15 mins.

God is teaching me I have a voice and totally say can no through a dating app. The prayers that hurt, but make me grateful for God coming through.