11/16/18

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Day 126

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Father.

I want to know 

You see me here—

How are You romancing 

My soul in this one day?

The fear is clouding up

My chest again—the little

Voice that is telling me I

Made a mistake—go back,

Unblock. Apologize for shutting 

Out because you are afraid of the dark—

Not the one that occurs when light is turned 

Off, but the one I cant fix, help with, Jesus, except

To pray again & again. 

 

fmf: one.

Not by Sight

I’ve not been into romance novels lately, let alone fiction, but once I read a review comparing Not by Sight by Kate Breslin to Downton Abbey, I was intrigued.

Not by Sight tells the story of Grace Mabry and Jack Benningham—a duchess and earl who have a chance meeting at a charity ball.

Grace is there with her maid, Agnes,in hopes to bring her twin brother, Colin home from war in France. When she sees Jack among the other guests, she goes to present him with a feather of cowardice.

Jack, who there is at this ball on a mission for the MI5, is overtaken by Grace’s auburn hair and green dress. He loses sight of his target.

When I read this all in chapter one, I felt the whole thing was kind of cheesy and Downton-like. Because of course they’d meet at a ball thrown by Countess. Also, throughout the whole story, I kept thinking Jack was a spy, not a spy-catcher.

I probably should’ve looked that up as I did with so many other words. This book was full of words I never knew. Example: toilette—nothing to do with toilets (yes, I thought it was a special spelling of the French ..), but one’s appearance.

Seriously, who now would that when speaking to friends or significant other? Oh, I’ll be back girls, I must fix my toilette! Unless you’d like to come with..

Sorry, I couldn’t help it, it’s just hilarious people talked liked that in 1917.

I don’t know how to continue writing this review, without giving the entire story away. I had a very difficult time staying interested throughout this book. It seemed to build very slow and it took me a longtime to adjust to the third person,

Kate did a beautiful job pulling me back into the story with the characters and relationships.

If you like historical fiction mixed with romance, I would read this.

If you like mystery, this will satisfy.

And of course if you like Downton—with lady’s maids, royalty, and forbidden love, then I may suggest Amazon? 🙂

Oh, and let me know if you think this should be a new show on PBS.

*I was given a copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion*

I Confess Thee On This Dreamer’s Bed

Who I am-

fervent worrier letting mistakes

stamp out my heart

with hate of who I’ve been.

If You believe me, baby,

we know I’m taking vessel dictations

beat after beatbeatbeatbeat.

Paralysis.

Take this away.

I can’t convince my head

this is the end,

no matter what the inner critic

throws from behind

my long-term memory.

Don’t blink, he whispers.

Look at all this commendable apathy.

This is a masterpiece to behold, eh?

Years in the making.

You get to witness it all.

Aren’t you lucky?

Don’t pay mind to the blessings

God is bestowing on you.

it’s a dream to fade away.

I have pain aplenty.

Fear to turn away from His face.
Look at you.

Squirmy.

Twisting your fingers.

What, you going to do?

Call for your Daddy?

Funny.

Little girls always have

the lamest jokes.

Go ahead.

See if He comes.

Do I need to remind you

your earthly ones behavior?

Oh, wait. No.

I’ve made sure the sting stays.

Father, I know the sting

bees release roaming this land

searching for nectar’s delicacy

But, worry has waterlogged

my inside of love where You’ve

sought communion with me.

I ask You to be my escape.

My fortress speaking sweet

nothings in the places

liars made sure ridicule

crumbled me.

Review: The Waiting Room by Alysha Kaye

Author’s Note: Trying something different out..reviewing a book by an AMAZING new author. Check her out! 🙂

I found out about this book after Alysha followed my blog. I was instantly taken by the fact the book is written in first person. I have a thing for first person narration. Especially when the story takes on the 2 or more character viewpoints.

The Waiting Room is the story of Nina and Jude, two married people who are madly in love, living an average life together. Steady jobs. Steady dreams to do something beyond the mundane, everyday thing. One morning, they leave for work, and Jude passes away in a car accident. He is taken to The Waiting Room. So I don’t spill the whole book, I’m going to list what I loved about the book.

1. The way Alysha incorporated the ideas of love and waiting. I think not in death, but life as well, we will do whatever it takes to be with the one who makes us feel wanted. Cherished. Valued. Even if that means waiting. We all struggle with waiting for what, or in this case who we love, but in the end it is worth the time spent.

2. Falling in love with the same person over again and again as a different person. (This is a spoiler..) I loved how Nina fell in love with Jude whenever she met him in another life. Thinking about it now, I feel Nina fell for him because of his spirit, no matter who he was in other lives.

3. The scatterbrained way the book is written. It shows how much we grasp for understanding for what happens after we die. You can’t read this book all in one sitting. There are way too many ideas that can’t be digested in hours time. You need time to process. That being said, if you want a quick read, this may not be for you. I’d give it a shot even if that is so. You may be pleasantly surprised.

I’m pretty this review is all over the place. There is n way to properly sum the of the book except: wait and sea the how the story unfolds. There is something for everyone that makes the book universal.

Dreams comes to those who wait. Wow, that was really cliche. Please, go give the book a chance. You know you want a sappy love story. 🙂

You can find her book on Amazon! Her blog is here. And if that’s not enough for you, she also has a website connecting you to her facebook author page and twitter. 🙂

Go show her (and her book) some love ❤

Foggy Wonder

Author’s Note: Inspired by this post this morning. Thanks, Shawn! 🙂

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I woke up,
sat up & said to my mother:
I’d like to get some sleep
without constant chaos.

I said, I don’t want this to come off
as a complaint.

There is so much stuff.

Cats.
Clothes.
Dishes.
Silverware.
Cups.
Chickens.
A pig.
A dog.
People.
Voices.
Cars.
Coming.
Leaving.
Door opening.
Door closed.
Words.
Sentences.

Hey.
How are you?
Good.
Oh woe is Julia.
Just another day in the life of me.
Last two sentences are teasing
from dear old brother.
I love you.

Chocolate sticks set on my nightstand unexpectedly from my sister.
Mother giving me a bowl of fruit.
Grapes.
Blueberries.
Raspberries.
Chocolate peanut butter ice cream from my brother last night.
“Hey, I was thinking of you on the way home.” Dad. Cheddar cheese combos. Friday. “Oh, she’s got a little spring in her step now.” Dad Saturday. New laptop. Sitting still.

The prayer I read Friday.

Oh, God, move.

Read in the passenger seat
of a parked car.
Written longing
finally connecting
my heart.

I want to cry.
Laugh. Cry.
Run. Sit. Dance.
Twirl. Cry.

Cry.
I never knew.
Cry.
I don’t understand
Cry.
I’m tangled up
in this morning’s sheets.
Crying.
On this porch.
In this rocking chair.

My heart.

I’m falling
shaking
quivering
aching
longing
excited
weepy
joying
over
whelmed
lost
lucid
passioned

held close,
wrapped
in His arms.

Jesus.

Love, God

I watch you hurry about.

Your wings against my stopped

up ears-

Bass.

Beats.

Music.

You flutter up

& down, up,

down my arm.

I’m blinking.

Breathing.

Flower aroma.

Lavender.

Rose.

Mint.

Spirit fragrance.

I am stolen

under weighty silence

as we exchange minutes,

stamping out time

with presence-

sun burning cacography

I’ve scrawled about myself.

Lone.

Lonely

Alone.

You’ve landed

Changing belief.

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Thursday

We are eating sausage and egg
biscuits without much taste,
when he asks how You are.

My thumb shoots up in silent praise,
my mouth grinning with adoration.

My heart leaping, throbbing love,
gibbosity with Your name: Jesus.

Salt of the earth filling
flavoring my taste buds.

Author’s Note: I may have used this word incorrectly, but I’ve made it a thing to use the Word of the Day in a poem everyday. So, I apologize if it doesn’t make sense. Love it all the same. 🙂