Here we are in
summer—the sky is cloudy &
my chest wants to cave under
the weight of this grief, a new
layer You’ve access to. Lord,
it’s my honesty, it’s too much- his
desire for me when I don’t see a
desire for You, too. When I speak
Up & say, this is too soon. We are
not in a relationship yet…
chest almost like a trigger of
memories from a year ago, except
a year ago I wouldn’t have said
no. So, this is new & I hear You
whisper: I’m proud of you. But yet
here I sit with the swirling
thoughts: ghosted again. Why
couldn’t we just talk about it or
for him to say sorry, this isn’t
going to work? But I spoke up
again. 2 times in 2 days. That is
something to behold. The anxiety
only goes to show me I’m afraid
of physical intimacy a little too
soon—break off my fear before
the summer is up. Show me a guy
can have interest but respect too.
I’m worthy and I’m finally
starting to believe it. Shame can’t
cover me when I’m looking to
You. You who is faithful and true.
One who is looking out for me.
– five minutes Friday prompt: summer, written for 15 mins.
God is teaching me I have a voice and totally say can no through a dating app. The prayers that hurt, but make me grateful for God coming through.