//
Day 91
//
God,
I keep thinking of
the disciples, the
weight of sorrow
I feel on this Saturday
(Sadderday). Walking
back together, these
disciples, friends hope
for Your redeeming power,
saving. You meet them on
this road & they don’t even
know it’s You. You ask, what
are you talking about? but their
down turned faces could tell You. Still,
You want to know.
You come alongside them in
their sorrow, grief too heavy.
They tell You they thought Jesus was the
Messiah, but
after three days, there is still
no sight of You.
–
Lord, it is me,
sitting here &
saying, I can’t
see You. Though
I’m sure I saw You
in his smile & almost
twinkle in his eyes
down to his smile.
The joy because he
knows I have a sweet
tooth & a love of chai.
How can tears still find
me, missing her from a
book about butterflies,
or the Polish hamburgers/
cabbage & noodles? Or the
friend coming to mind again
after accidentally stumbling
upon a glitter bomb, imagining
the laughter? – the
ache even though I know
tomorrow celebrates You
coming to redeem, call me
Your beloved, to Your side.
Us all.
–
But today, Lord –
I’m tired. I am weary.
Things I’ve said yesterday
& spoke aloud to You today,
makes me think You have all
right to look away, leave me
in the dark, but still I sit & listen
to these songs, about your faithfulness,
that You are here –
even if You haven’t given me
what I want, You are still good.
Surround me in Your shelter,
kindness yet again.
–
I’m trusting, You, Lord,
& if You disappear from
view again, let me remember
the burning of my heart as You
whisper, I’m still with you. O my
child, I’m still with you.
–
It’s true.
love,
Your tender haired girl