from all over the globe

For over a year & some 

I have jumped. Into the 

opportunity to be a part 

of something bigger than me–

the emotions of pure joy & panic have 

volleyed for my heart. & there i would 

find

myself reaching beyond my own ability to 

accomplish what 

I set out to do – launch another’s words 

out into the world, with new friends 

linking arms as we became a team, full

of love 

fmf: team.

Today, I saw this prompt and became somewhat panicked. I quietly thought to myself that God is trying to tell me something. This poem is about the joy & and frustration (that I put on myself..) I’ve had in being apart of launch teams for author’s books. For the last year and some, I’ve had the privilege of helping them get their words out in the world and make some beautiful friends along the way.

I never even knew book launch teams was a real thing until my lovely friend, Trisha had signed up for one, told me about it and thought to myself, God, I want to do that! (I was a little afraid and whiny, as in I never thought He’d let me..) Clearly, He knows my heart because He keeps bringing opportunities. I’ve not understood this, only that there’s a joy & excitement each new one. And I always think, yayy! I get to read another book! But it slowly turns to me sharing my heart and making friends. And trying to figure out how I will summarize a book in a way that someone might be interested in. 

Here’s where I try to explain the fear in my heart. Yesterday, my bestie for the restie (my phone corrected that to rescue 😂), put a thought into my head: what about a book launching specialist? And all these thoughts come flooding: what? Does that mean I have to gather a team and be a leader? I don’t know how to lead. And what do I just read an author’s book and come up with a plan and like those forms you fill out to get people to join? And God why does this make me so excited but my chest is all: panic!!

And in between saying all this to God, finding things for my resumé for Megan (because she is awesome and making things a little more professional for me since I have no idea what I’m doing.) and fixing a new page under Publications, of the books I’ve helped launched so far (Megan made this too. Seriously. She needs a cake pop for all this work.) this verse popped in my head:

Romans 8:32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 

I read in a commentary that God gave Jesus freely. Without hesitation. Without money. Because He wanted to bless us. 

And then I have to think, because this goes way over my head, like I can’t wrap my mind around it, He will give me everything I need to do this? I don’t have to push and try to do it in my own strength?

Oh, to rest in this.

I need serious prayers. I want to do this so much. I feel like God is confirming this since my mom told me I should try it in March. 

He will call on me, and I will answer him;

    I will be with him in trouble,

    I will deliver him and honor him. Ps. 91:15

Help, Lord.

a flower’s declaration 

I want to be free,

says the little magnolia 

hanging from the tree.

Won’t someone pick me?

Hold me & say I am pretty?

I’ve been here in the valley 

for so long. The people look 

at me momentarily & walk away. Am I 

only to be brushed

by the wind, wilted by the sun, drenched 

by the rain? 
But in this despair, my petals 

reach out to the sky: I am grateful for

Your love, the water to drink, the heat 

warming, the whisper of Your love on the 

breeze; how You are unfailing.

My God, the only hope I’ve got, ever had 

to bloom was Your faithfulness alone.

You make the broken beautiful –  

how some think they’re halved to stay. A 

seed never to grow in 

the valley where no one wants 

to go. Here where clouds cover or sun 

beats unbearable, but I know. 

Slow. Patient. Intentional.
Don’t forget His love.

He who tends, watches 

over, sings His night song

to cast out all the fear making 

my leaves tremble.

May the words I speak 

make You smile, Lord.

May my heartbeats bring

You closer to remind me

I can’t, never will outrun 

Your love.

Last night, I wrote this while listening to Ellie Holcomb. I don’t know how it happened, but when i heard, Magnolia, I started hearing words of a story in my head. Words that sounded like they where coming from the depths of my soul to God. The cry of my heart. I will never understand the way he works through music and my words, but the peace is beautiful. Knowing that he hears, understands, cares, is something I’m still trying to get to my heart, and reminding myself to tell the truth is even harder. But I’ll sink if not. I’m thankful he knows how to get to me: music and a poem.:)

Title inspired by this lovely woman’s poem about who she is.

Favorite line: “Not to fill a hollow

With nothing but sorrow” — yes, yes, and yes. 😍

Drawing! — meganelizabethmorales

My friend, Megan is looking for someone who can help draw pictures for her comic book…if interested send a message her way.☺️

Hey guys! So! I’m gonna throw this out there, and you don’t have to respond, but I hope this gets me a good answer! I’m looking for someone who draws very well, and would be interested in drawing for my comic book/perhaps graphic novella? I don’t think the person I asked beforehand is going to be […]

via Drawing! — meganelizabethmorales

than my sorrows.

Lord, I have been in this 

pit for so long.

I look up & think,

I’ll try climbing out.

What I put my hand 

To seems to make me

Slip & fall til I am flat on

my back in a surrender.

& I think You will come with

fire and swipe me out with all

the negative thoughts I can’t seem to 

clear my thoughts of.

You say your kindness leads to 

repentance. Please lift me out so I can 

sing more 
fmf: lift.

I feel like the last few weeks have been a test for me. A test of faith. That God will lift my head, put a new song in my mouth, restore what the locusts have eaten, give me a garment of praise instead of these mourning clothes. That He is the best out of all these things that keep on distracting. He is faithful.

He is faithful to pull me into His Word. To hold me when I don’t anymore except that I’m tired and weary and can’t believe I bought a bible that I keep getting distracted reading but still find myself opening it and wanting to soak in a word. A phrase. Something.

Today, that is, He helps me and my heart is filled with joy. Psalm 28.

leaves me heavy

I’ve been here before,
thinking this boy will make me

happy–we’ll have long talks about Jesus 

& life & everything 

will be fine. God, I am slow in learning to 

do the right thing & pull the cord from 

what is already dead will still break your 

heart. The process of letting go so You 

can have more or me
fmf: happy.

This week has been interesting. Not only have I been enjoying launching this book, I’ve been dealing with serious realizations God is on the pursuit of my heart. I’ve heard of this, but haven’t been too aware of it. 

From the beginning of the week, I’ve been stuck on this word: forbearance. I’ve been asking God, wait, isn’t that a fruit of your spirit? You wait on me? I can’t do this..  I’ve been feeling the nudge to let go of this boy who I let back into my life without really thinking anything would happen. 

Wrong. I’ve been watching myself get hurt and jealous (grossiest emotion ever), waving it off for the attention. And hoping just maybe he’d want to talk about Jesus as much as I do lately. But after this week and last week, I can’t change or force people to talk about Jesus (and love doesn’t force itself on you.) I don’t want to either.

So today, I let him go. And I’m terrified because I don’t want to turn back again. I think I’m always going to want to talk to him about Jesus, but I need to protect my heart. Admitting that is hard with the longing being so big and fearing Jesus can’t fill this hole.

But he is faithful to the faithless. And he is strong while I am weak. It’s amazing to see how he has a strong hold on me, when I think he’s left. Nope. He’s been waiting for me. And though this really hurts, this is a step forward I think.

img_0512

What do you say?

“Like a dare to be happy?”
This was a question I was asked from a man painting the house. 
I shyly told him yes, because I knew no other way to explain this book while in the midst of it.
I wanted to say more. More than the research I found fascinating. Or how I found a love for making graphics with quotes, and showing him with a happiness I hadn’t felt in months. 


But I was too caught up in experiencing happiness, Experiencer being one of the five styles Jennifer shares about in this book. I was also maximizing my sweet spots of 2 styles I scored highest on: Relater and Giver. We ate some DQ fries and later talked about books we used to read. It was an experience I’ll not soon forget as I am not quick to open up. And the amazement at how my happiness had boosted.
If there was more I could say, I’d tell him, “thanks for fully eating your cake especially made for you from God and showing me it’s okay. We are allowed to be happy. Keep on spreading your slice of happiness.”
And for anyone looking to read this book, let me leave you with this quote from the very end:
Listen for his voice, now, that whisper in your ear: “Go on now, dig in, honey. It’s all yours!”
Who wants to take the dare and eat some more heavenly cake?

(d) as You bring the rain 

LORD, your voice 
comes through the

thunder & I tremble–

I look up & see the clouds

have hidden the blue. Is this 

the same as You have hidden

my sorrow? In the blood you shed on the 

cross–I don’t know 

how much longer I can wait, but 

I’m keeping still & knowing You are God. 

The One who calls me by name and 

knows the numbers on my head. Stay 

with me, Lord. Hold my han

fmf: hidden.

I’ve thought this week that God has hidden his face from me; despair has had kind of, okay no, a tight grip on me. But through the times I’ve started crying, became mad at myself because my heart is so twisty, and I want to be better, been afraid of temptation that I’ve given into and one I was able to see how God provided a way out by praying instead of diving into it like I generally would; God has been holding me tighter.

Like with this song repeating in my head each morning it seems.

In the morning, You are faithful!

In the evening, You are faithful!

In the noonday, You are faithful to me!

These lyrics play like a record in my head. I’m so thankful He won’t let me go, hasn’t, and just like the song says, is faithful to the end.:)